As I join fellow HSCT warriors in celebrating publication of Dr. Burt’s Phase II Clinical Trial (the one I hoped to be a part of, was approved for, but when enrollment closed I was instead treated off study (because insurance denied me) according to study protocol – because he couldn’t treat me otherwise) … I’ve…

“Suddenly he found himself speeding along an unfamiliar country highway, and as he looked back over his shoulder neither the tollbooth nor his room nor even the house was anywhere in sight. What had started as make-believe was now very real. ‘What a strange thing to have happen,’ he thought (just as you must be…

Do you ever find yourself completely still – despite knowing that you could be swirling with all there is to accomplish? Thankfully my daughter locked the keys in the car today. Thankfully it happened in our driveway. Thankfully the beautiful sun had warmed the shade with just the right amount of (no) humidity. Thankfully she…

Why must we be so distracted? I’d much rather.      Notice. Listen. Attune. Instead we fall asleep. Or fall down. Distracted by the noise and the costumes and the bright lights. Dis-tract from dis-ease. I’d much rather notice the individual instruments that complement a composition and learn the tune. Embrace the lush fabrics that…

“routine is a ground to stand on, a wall to retreat to; we cannot draw on our boots without bracing ourselves against it.” ~Henry David Thoreau Can someone please, tell me what happened to May? For whatever reason, I thought that striving to be fully present in every moment would help me develop super vivid…

Often, language seems to fall short. At least lately, the means by which to express gratitude through speaking or writing seem incomparable to the experience of emotion. Maybe my internal thesaurus didn’t carry forward after the reboot six months ago. Maybe it’s the fluctuation of hormones through early menopause. Maybe the language part of my…

Merriam Webster defines the transitive verb as “1 : to cease marching or journeying. 2 : discontinue, terminate.” On the six-month anniversary of transplant, today Dr. Burt offered me a fantastic early birthday present. He confirmed that my MRIs show no new lesions, which means that so far, HSCT has halted my MS!! Since diagnosis…

pedaling away on my stationary bike this morning, I noticed my pace is a half-minute faster than last week. Incremental, but significant. Sitting in meditation this morning, I noticed a greater sense of ease, despite the empty belly and mental distractions of the growing to-do list. Incremental, but significant. Talking with my grandmother this morning…

Five months ago today, my immune system was obliterated… annihilated… my white blood cells, neutrophils, etc. all, “too low to count” created the perfect environment for the last round of chemo and return of my own stem cells to help my body rebuild a new immune system. Today, the BBC published a story previewing interim…

People survive in different ways. ~Nikita Gill (via meanwhilepoetry) I keep saying (out loud, and in my head), “This [transplant] has been such an interesting experience to observe…” and when I wonder the extent to which I tempted fate, or altered my destiny, question whether I made the right decision to (rely on others to help)…

sometimes, you have to do it wrong in order to make it right. At least, in order to reverse the patterns of muscle tone that my fascia like to exert, repeated reps to work my toes, ankles, knees, and arms in awkwardly exaggerated ‘wrong’ ways can help my body recognize what should be ‘right’ in…