shaping

sometimes, you have to do it wrong in order to make it right.

At least, in order to reverse the patterns of muscle tone that my fascia like to exert, repeated reps to work my toes, ankles, knees, and arms in awkwardly exaggerated ‘wrong’ ways can help my body recognize what should be ‘right’ in movement.

A few days after my last post, I found myself at my fabricated standing desk working on my laptop, listening to some roots reggae to keep a good mood, dancing. Okay, maybe my feet didn’t move very far (let alone leave the floor), and maybe it was just my hips moving in rhythm to the reggae tone, but my knees were bending, and it felt good. Fluid good. Irie good.

Almost as good as dancing into late night at the Cancun discotheques, Club 141, The Heresy, The Wrocklage, or with DJ Timmerding and his turntables spinning house in Lexington… yet, good in a way that helps me to work hard each week at physical therapy and the days between. Some days it is so tempting to sink into the laze of being home all day, but I resist.

Stay busy with baking, cleaning, laundry, working, and integrate the PT exercises where it makes sense. Practice relying on my left foot, taking steps backward, or navigating the obstacles that my daughter coaches me through. This past week I was on my yoga mat three times and rode the stationary bike twice (once for 3.5 miles) and every time I make time to exercise, I feel better. Less fatigued. Stronger.

At day +109, there are still struggles. Excruciating pain like razor blades slicing my rotator cuffs and biceps. Mood swings. Hot flashes. Anxiety. Insomnia. Stiffness. Still, I prefer to focus on the micro differences in mobility… that seem to have accumulated, as my therapist noted this past Thursday, “definitely better than when you started.

I’ve been helping my daughter make valentines for her classmates… of course she decided on a great pattern to fold paper flowers that hold lollipops. With a bit of tape, a straw, and some decorative leaves, they are shaping up to be pretty adorable. They take shape with some very meticulous folding of thick cardstock… which aggravates those razor blades in my shoulders, but the work is good for hand dexterity and fine motor control. And shaping neural pathways.

Aside from Girl Scout cookie orders, household chores, once-weekly PT (how I would love to afford more sessions every week!!), and the occasional meal out with friends, I’ve been laying low. Avoiding germs. Staying warm. Finding inspiration for new ways to earn a living… hopefully more on that in weeks to come.

be kind. be warm. be well.

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